


Jasmine

by Crucified_To_A_Star



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Feel-good, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, No Angst, Pining, Realistic, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, eboy!Chenle, edited Dec 12 2019, ot7 dream makes a brief appearance, softboy!Jisung, the briefest mention of homophobia, this is one of the softest things ive ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-11 17:10:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20549732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crucified_To_A_Star/pseuds/Crucified_To_A_Star
Summary: Chenle was a bit of an outcast in life; his clothing style having been read as too intimidating or scary to talk to, despite his soft nature. Chenle often found refuge in the record shop that he worked in, the place where he felt he could fully express himself and converse with people freely. He had long since accepted his fate of living quietly in a comfortable solitude with his music, until one day a shy boy walks in inquiring for a school project. Chenle hadn’t ever thought about it, but maybe he could grow to love the scent of jasmine.





	Jasmine

**Author's Note:**

> This work is so precious to me, it took forever honestly, and it kept making me so Soft while writing it. I love ChenJi so much; like real life Chenle and Jisung, not just fic ChenJi. I think they’re the cutest beans. Anyways, this fic went out of control; it was going to be a drabble and well, here it is now, a whopping 15k lol well, I hope you enjoy

_The jasmine flower: associated with love, beauty, and purity.___

Chenle’s day had started well enough. He took the long route through the park with the blooming cherry blossom trees and had found it empty, so he was able to ride his skateboard through, undisturbed. The shop had been quiet for most of the day and he was able to relax, flipping through one of the comics he had read an unfathomable amount of times and listening to Frank Sinatra lulling the quiet shop.

He had had a good day so far, yet he felt himself grow frustrated when a tall, slender boy walked through the door, the little overhead bell tinging as he did so. It caught Chenle off guard. Normally, he was incredibly amicable, a favorite amongst regular customers. He typically always found himself excited for customer’s, loving to converse with them about their interests in music, reading materials, memorabilia and the sorts; it was why he had applied for this job and why he was so excited when he had gotten the position. It was incredibly unlike him to be cross with anyone, let alone someone he hadn’t even interacted with yet. 

Those factors, though, did little but make him frown further as he watched the boy peek around the shop, standing awkwardly by the door, having yet to move closer. He was picking the nail on one of his hands nervously, the blue sweater he wore slightly covering his hands as he did so. You Turned My World Around was spinning on the record-player now, the opening piano notes enough to tell Chenle that. 

“Can I help you?” Chenle finally asked, his voice a little louder and a little sharper than intended. 

The other boy flinched slightly, nearly unnoticeably, his head jerking towards Chenle. It was as if he hadn’t noticed him when he entered, and perhaps he hadn’t. The cashier stand was tucked away in a nook in the corner of the store, nearly hidden by shelves of vinyls. A lot of customer’s had to be directed there and Chenle never understood why they had arranged the shop the way they had. He was pulled from his thoughts when the other boy came into his view. Chenle finally was able to get a good look at his face; he was tanner than Chenle, with soft, almost delicate, features and mild but pretty brown eyes. His dark hair was tousled slightly, from the wind or nervous fingers Chenle wasn’t privy, and his expression was as uncomfortable as his body language. He still hadn’t made eye contact with Chenle. 

It dawned on him in that second that he was frowning still. Chenle was suddenly hyper aware of his attire, his expression, the environment- everything. Chenle was often mistaken for a rude teenager, someone to avoid in the streets, based off of the style of clothing he wore. He loved the punk subculture that was reviving in the mainstream world now- lots of black and chains and layers and accessories. He loved everything about it, but it often lead people into thinking he was an aggressive teen, where he felt like quite the opposite. Chenle was quite friendly typically and he liked to think that people genuinely enjoyed being around him. The awareness of his appearance made him immediately loosen up as he attempted a small smile. He tried again, softer this time, “Can I help you?” 

It was now that the boy looked up, only slightly, his lashes covering most of his eyes still. “Yeah,” The voice that left him was deeper than expected but as soft as he assumed, “I’m supposed to be doing a project for my music class on old music. I decided I’d do some of it on records, but,” He glanced around nervously again and the dots were slowly connecting with Chenle. 

“You’re not sure where to start?” Chenle supplied, offering another gentle smile. 

“Yeah,” He gave a nervous huff that Chenle almost counted as a laugh. 

“Well, how old?” 

“Maybe starting in the 60’s?” The boy stopped picking his nail, but his fingers stayed tucked around each other, hovering nearly his belly. 

Chenle met his eyes again, not having realized his distraction, “Let’s go have a look around.” 

The shop was quiet the entire time they were together. Chenle had taken him through the records of the time; he talked about the albums that were popular at their releases and the ones that got popular after; he talked about the different records and the sales and how each artist debuted along with their histories. He talked for an hour or so, the other boy quietly listening. It had dawned on Chenle sometime through their conversations that the record had stopped, however he couldn’t bring himself to leave the other boy. There was something that stuck him in place and kept him talking, that made him not want to _ stop _ talking. __

_ _ He felt almost like he was preening, showing off all of his knowledge to the other boy, and he knew he was. It was unusual for him to feel like he needed to assert his knowledge, but he was finding that today was a rather odd day for him. The other boy interjected occasionally and mumbled as he processed the information, but he was fairly quiet through the entire experience. He had clasped his hands and rested them against his thighs at some point and Chenle took that as him getting more comfortable. _ _

_ _They had found themselves to the end of the discussion however and the other boy was returning to his prior nervous habits, picking at the edge of his sweater now. It was quiet for a moment, the silence filled with the vents breathing and the cars outside driving past, but Chenle didn’t find himself uncomfortable- a feat that succeeded in making him uncomfortable. _ _

_ _“So, is there anything else?” Chenle pulled himself back into reality. _ _

_ _The other boy seemed to snap back the same and shook his head gently, “No, but thanks for your help,” he paused, glancing at the name on Chenle’s chest, attempting to read the Pinyin scrawled on the tag, “Chen...Lee?” _ _

_ _Chenle glowered, his eyes narrowing slightly, “That’s not my name.” He wasn’t sure why he was so combative with this boy, however even the acknowledgment of it didn’t seem to change his reactions. _ _

_ _However, he was surprised this time when he didn’t retreat and instead countered, “That’s what your name tag says.” _ _

_ _“No,” Chenle quipped quickly, crossing his arms and leaning against the record shelf. “It says Chenle, my name.” _ _

_ _The boy snorted, “Sounds the same to me.” _ _

_ _“Well, what’s your name?” _ _

_ _“Jisung,” Chenle was surprised at the change of confidence and how he had stopped playing with the hem of his sweater now and his eyes were leveled with Chenle’s and it was Chenle’s turn to become slightly flustered over the moment over the much taller boy. _ _

_ _He stuttered for a moment before squinting at him, “I don’t have anything dumb to say, but you’re welcome for all the information, Jisung.” _ _

_ _Jisung smiled fully for the first time since being there, his lips pulling back and up revealing pretty teeth and the pink gums surrounding them; his eyes crinkled slightly at the edges and he lit up in a way he hadn’t during the time they’d been talking. Chenle’s throat tightened slightly and he ignored the way his hands trembled. _ _

_ _“Thank you, Chenle.” With that, there was a brief moment where Chenle almost asked him to stay, but instead watched as he walked out of the door, the bell tinging signalling his disappearance. Chenle felt slightly gutted after he left, the mustard yellow walls and strange green carpeting of the store seeming duller and suffocating now. The aisles and aisles of records and knick-knacks, and things that interested Chenle seemed slightly boring now. He doubted he’d ever see Jisung again considering he got all the information he needed for his school project, but Chenle hoped he’d come back just so he could talk for another few hours about everything to him. _ _

_ _Chenle restarted the record, listening to the white noise before the tracks began and watched out of the large display windows as the sun was slowly setting. He had had a good day, so why now did he feel so sullen? _ _

_ __ _

Jisung was shy. He was never certain on how to handle himself around strangers and never seemed to be able to properly introduce himself. Everyone who met him, forgot him quickly. He wasn’t offended and the sting of the rejection was lost on him after having felt it so many times. He had long since stopped trying to make friends, sticking to online chat rooms and people he met through video games in order to socialize. He was content with that, the stress of new people was lessened through the computer screen, but it didn’t explain how he found himself back at the record shop once again. 

_ __ _

He was stood at the entrance to the retro themed shop; the large bay windows lined with dark wood that was nestled in between a dentists office and a book store on the strip of their historic downtown area. There were a few people inside, milling about, but Jisung hadn’t been concerned over the crowds. 

_ __ _

Jisung was looking for Chenle. 

_ __ _

He had felt unusually comfortable with the shop worker. He was smart and funny and confident in ways Jisung wished to be but didn’t envy. There was something enigmatic about the other boy, something fascinating; Something that just barely drew him out of his shell enough to get relaxed in a way he hadn't been with anyone else he'd ever met. 

_ __ _

“You’re here again.” The voice was close and startled Jisung enough so that he jumped. He turned quickly, facing the other boy. Chenle wore a striped white and black shirt under a band tee shirt that he didn’t recognize, tucked into slightly baggy black jeans. Silver rings and chains and necklaces adorned the shorter boy matching his icy hair. He had a unique face with strong features for someone so young and a flawless pallor offset by incredibly dark eyes. The skateboard he had tucked under his arm had scratched roses on the bottom and Jisung couldn’t help but feel like it was some metaphor for his personality. “Do you need more help on your project?” 

_ __ _

_ __ _

It took Jisung a second to realize he had yet to respond, catching himself lost in thought again. He cleared his throat before speaking, hoping his voice didn’t come out as croaky as it felt. “Yeah, I needed some more artists to reference.” That was a lie. He had finished his project a couple days ago, turned it in, and got a decent enough grade. He didn’t need it, but he liked listening to Chenle talk like he was the sole keeper of the information surrounding the artists. 

_ __ _

Chenle beamed at him in response, “Let me check in and relieve the other clerk and we can look through some different artists.” 

_ __ _

Jisung had come into the shop every week for the next month after that, spending whatever downtime Chenle had listening to him talk about whatever came up that day. It had become Chenle’s favorite part of the week, unknowingly; he began to look forward to every Thursday at 4pm sharp. He was never late, but sometimes he was early. Chenle often found himself counting the seconds on the clock, wondering when the next bell ting would be Jisung. 

_ __ _

Chenle was currently standing with an elderly man, discussing Tony Bennett’s _Life is Beautiful_ album and how interesting his _Cheek to Cheek_ album collaboration with Lady Gaga was, when the bell tinged. He glanced away quickly only to find a regular come in, though it wasn’t Jisung. Chenle glanced at the clock above the cashiers station, only to find it 4:05. ____

_ __ _

_ _ _Was Jisung not coming today? _ _ _

_ __ _

_ _ _Chenle excused himself from the conversation with the polite man, heading to the other customer. He was attempting to keep his concentration on what she was saying, but his mind kept drifting to the door causing him to continually ask her to repeat herself. _ _ _

_ __ _

_ _ _“Chenle, are you okay?” She caught him again. He looked at her sheepishly, but there was no anger in her expression. Her kind green eyes remained so, expression open and comfortable, but genuine concern lacing the details of her slightly aged face. _ _ _

_ __ _

_ _ _“I’m fine.” He didn’t know how to answer genuinely. He hadn’t lied, but it wasn’t the truth either. He wasn’t sure what he was. _ _ _

_ __ _

_ _ _“You seem more distracted than usual. Is there anything on your mind?” _ _ _

_ __ _

_ _ _Chenle shook his head with his eyes to the ground and kept his lips tight, knowing he would spill everything if he tried to speak again. _ _ _

_ __ _

_ _ _“Chenle, sweetie, is everything fine at home?” _ _ _

_ __ _

_ _ _Chenle made a choked noise, meeting her eyes again. “Everything’s _fine_,” He stuttered on his words slightly and that’s when he broke, “It’s just, there’s this guy that’s been coming in. We’re friends. No, we aren’t _friends_, we just have hung out while I worked and I’ve talked to him about music and he listens well and I-I-I don’t _know_. He’s just usually come by by now and he hasn’t so I’m worried, but I shouldn’t be worried because we aren’t friends and he doesn’t have to come by and it shouldn’t matter but it matters and-” Chenle stopped, eyes falling back to the ground. He hadn’t realized he had become as animated as he had, his hands moving quickly and his voice squeakier than typical. He needed to reign himself back. He didn’t usually babble like that- typically he was in control of himself in a manner not seen often in other 19 year olds. _______ _ _

_ __ _

_ _ _The woman seemed shocked for a moment before smiling gently, “I’d forgotten what it’s like to be young and confused. Don’t worry, dear. He’ll show eventually.” With that, the conversation moved onwards and to a more typical topic of theirs, but Chenle still felt his heart thud heavily. Whether in response to the words that tumbled from his mouth or the fact that Jisung had still yet to arrive, he decided it best not to ponder._ _ _

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

Jisung was standing outside the music shop again. It was Friday; he was a day late. Yesterday he had been asked to stay after school and help tutor a peer and he had unfortunately missed Chenle. He hadn’t been in on a Friday and the concern was gnawing at him that Chenle wouldn’t be working this shift. He showed up at the same time, hopeful. 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

He was staring at the sign admiring the faded green and purple text spelling out This and That, when the familiar sound of skateboard wheels on uneven concrete hit him. The minimal traffic on the street did little to dull the noise and when the grinding noise stopped and the sound of footsteps came close, he finally glanced over. 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

Chenle’s hair was parted in the middle today, the silvery strands brushing just below his eyebrows; Jisung thought about moving the strands, but he also thought he needed a haircut. Another baggy black band tee shirt tucked into comfortably form fitting ripped black jeans with a thick belt and his ever present chains and rings was today’s choice in attire. Jisung almost wondered if he owned any normal clothes, but reminded himself that everyone’s normal was different; Chenle looked good like this, anyways, so why would he need to change it? 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

Chenle spoke first, “You weren’t here yesterday.” 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

Jisung shrugged, “What days are you off?” 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

Chenle seemed caught off guard, something that happened occasionally whenever Jisung would finally speak. His eyes narrowed slightly, “Why?” 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

“We should hang out sometime, outside of your work.” Jisung was calmer about this than he thought he was going to be. 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

Chenle stalled for a second before nodding, “Yeah, we should. I’m off Monday’s and Tuesday’s.” 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

“I’m in school until 3, so we should meet after.” 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

“You’re still in high school?” Chenle seemed surprised and it was then that Jisung realized they didn’t know much about each other personally. 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

“I graduate this year,” Jisung supplied with a small smile. 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

Chenle paused for a second, “Then I’ll meet you here at 3:30 on Monday. Don’t be late.” 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

Jisung laughed, “Have I ever been?” 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

Jisung spent the rest of Chenle’s shift watching him help customers. They didn’t get to do much talking as it turned out Friday’s were fairly busy days and Chenle was consistently being pulled to another aisle to help customers. Jisung was beginning to recognize certain customers as regulars who knew Chenle by name who always seemed to gravitate towards him instantly. Jisung was also noticing how he treated everyone with the same bright smile and gentle offers of information on artists, authors, and the memorabilia. 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

Jisung had initially been terrified of him; he dressed like the punks at school who sat under the bleachers and smoked pot during lunch and had once broken the lock on Jisung’s locker to steal his books. The first day he walked into the shop, he nearly tucked tail and ran the second Chenle got his attention. He was glad he hadn’t, though. 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

Jisung swivelled himself on the stool behind the register, unsure if he was even technically allowed to be there, watching Chenle sit on the floor to explain a 60’s comic to a small blonde girl with pigtails who couldn’t have been more than six. She was playing with the hem of her baby pink dress and giggling at every couple things that Chenle said, his expressions causing fits of laughter. The girls’ mother was standing a couple steps away, watching the interactions. She had seemed to have the same initial opinion of Chenle the moment she walked in, her shoulders tense as she had eyed him from across the room. It was her daughter that interacted with Chenle first, though, asking a question that Jisung couldn’t hear that caused Chenle to react with a dramatic gasp only to lead her over to the comics. Her mother was tense as she noticed the interaction, but slowly her shoulders softened. They were both stuck now, frozen, watching them have an indiscernible conversation from across the store. 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

“This is interesting,” she said turning to glance at Jisung over her shoulder. “She doesn’t usually make friends like this. He’s a really nice boy.” 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

“Yeah,” Jisung felt his cheek tugging into a smile before he could stop it, “He is.” 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

Maybe the weekend went by slower than Chenle had ever experienced. He hadn’t felt this anxious for his weekend in ages. He found himself planning for that Monday all weekend. He had planned his outfit and then changed it and changed it again and changed it one more time. That morning he had brushed his hair and styled it four times before giving up, showering, and then letting it fall naturally. The outfit he decided on before darting out the house was more simple than his usual style, but for the day he had planned it was perfect; the black mock-neck short-sleeved shirt was form fitting but comfortable, leading into black sweatpants with the occasional intentional rip and tear and pink toned bleach splotches created a rorschach on the black. His favorite rings decorated his fingers and thin layered necklaces fell around his covered collarbones. He was standing in front of his mirror, analyzing himself, when his alarm went off. 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

30 minutes. 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

The trip to the store was less than 15 minutes, but he wanted to get there with plenty of time to spare; he figured there was a possibility that he’d take a wrong turn, fall down, maybe get hit by a car- whatever happened, he wanted to be there on time. 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

With one last fidget of his hair, he was out the door of his apartment. The familiar vibrations of the skateboard under his feet was comforting, but it didn’t soothe the persistent wobbling of his fingers; the feeling of airiness not having left his fingertips yet. 

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

He was surprised to have made it to _This and That_ within 10 minutes, having hit every walk sign and clear street imaginable. __

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

_ _He was more surprised, however, by the figure leaning on the window ledge by the door. Jisung was unmistakable, wearing a dark blue sweater over a pink button down, his light blue jeans pressed neatly and unwrinkled. A dark blue beret was sat on his head, holding his brown hair flat. He was nervously playing with his long fingers, tucking them in and out of his sweater sleeves. Chenle wondered how he could wear a sweater in this heat, but then decided his nearly solid black wardrobe didn’t scream summer either. _ _

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle hopped off of his skateboard, kicking it up to his hand and tucking it under his arm, the scratchiness of the grip having long created a comfortable callous on his forearm to where he no longer felt it. _ _

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

_ _“You’re here early.” He said when he got closer. There was a wide gap between them still, but neither moved to change that. _ _

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

_ _Jisung glanced up from the ground, scanning Chenle’s outfit along the way in a manner he did often. Chenle wasn’t sure if it was unconscious or not, but he wouldn’t broach the topic. “So are you.” _ _

_ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle was sure how to respond to that, but a truck passed by in that moment, saving them both from having to answer. When the noise died as the truck rounded the corner, Chenle changed the topic, “Follow me, I want to show you something.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

The cherry blossoms were still in bloom, their petals slowly falling now, creating a wonderful _snow in May_ affect. The park was fragrant this time of year, between the cherry blossoms and the bushes that lined the benches with flowers of every color, the scent was inescapable. The park was quiet this time of day, most people still at work or those with children at the playground on the other end, so they were in relative solitude. __

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“I’ve been to this park before.” When Chenle glanced at Jisung, Jisung was staring ahead. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“Not to where I’m showing you.” Chenle was looking ahead again. The sun filtered slightly between the trees and left patches of warmth. Chenle made the mistake of looking at Jisung as the walked under one and it lit up the left side of his face, turning his eye into molten gold and enunciating the slight flush of his cheek. Chenle’s fingers were weakened again and he quickened his pace to the beat of his heart, arm clenching his skateboard tighter to him. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _The birds in the park were quiet today, but distantly the ducks in the pond were having loud conversations. Chenle suspected someone was out tossing seeds to them since that was the only time they ever made such a ruckus. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle jumped when he felt Jisung bump into him, their hands brushing for a second before the recoil. Chenle squeaked slightly then narrowed his eyes. “Sorry,” Jisung muttered, “I hadn’t realized I drifted over so far. I was looking at the blossoms.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle’s cheeks were warm, “Well, pay more attention to where you’re walking.” Chenle still wasn’t sure why he was always so sour with Jisung- he was never this defensive usually. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Jisung was looking at the trees again, his head titled backwards as he walked forward, despite the wobbling in his knees. “They’re beautiful though,” His voice was sightly breathy and strained from the angle his head was at, but he spoke anyways, “The cherry blossoms, I mean. The days we have left with them are dwindling.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle looked away as they passed under another sunbeam. “They’ll come back.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle was watching him again as Jisung spoke, something about him was captivating. “We should never count on the return and always appreciate the now.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“Oh so you’re the nostalgic type?” Jisung looked back to Chenle now, a small smile tugging his lips outwards. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“You’re not?” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“No,” Chenle said confidently, “I like to focus on the now more than anything. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“Yet you spend most of your time talking about old music and artists and people who have been dead for decades. I’d say that’s pretty nostalgic.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle was glowering at the younger boy and he knew it, but the expression wasn’t leaving his face. “That’s not how it works. You just don’t understand because you’re too young.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Jisung laughed and Chenle nearly dropped his skateboard, his fingers once again becoming unreliable. “You always say that.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“It’s always right.” Chenle nodded his head forward towards the fork in the path, breaking the eye contact, “That way.” They took the left path, walking around the small lake, the other path heading further down the cherry blossom covered pavement that would eventually lead to the playground. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Everything got quieter as they walked around the lake, the ducks having dispersed into the recesses of the groves. The soft lapping of the water on the rocks and the gentle breeze rustling the cherry blossom branches. Soft petals floated in the air and on the water, dotting the water where lily pads weren’t. Chenle loved this time of year; the small space in between spring and summer where the air was just perfect and everything was still vibrant and full of life. The breeze shifted and when it did, Chenle caught wind of the soft scent of lemon and jasmine mixing with the cherry blossoms and watery smell that all lakes had. He almost didn’t catch the fact that they had walked silently to their destination. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“We’re here.” He managed to choke out and stopped to turn and head across the small stone bridge leading to a tiny island in the middle of the lake. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“Are we supposed to go out there?” Jisung was hesitant. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle looked over his shoulder with a wide grin, “The question isn’t if we’re _supposed_ to- it’s if you _trust me_ enough to.” _____ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Jisung frowned for a second, “I don’t like trespassing.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle rolled his eyes, “It isn’t trespassing, now come on and quit being whiny about it.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle moved forward, walking the stretch of flat rock and making it to the small island. He waited for Jisung, knowing the other would follow, despite the hesitance. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _The island hadn’t changed much since Chenle had last been on it; the oak tree in the center was still large and covered in thick leaves, the small, ornate bushes covered in lilac, pink, and magenta flowers filled the air around them with the sweetest floral scent. There was a small stone path that lead to the tree and a couple stone statues, but for the most part, that was all the island had to offer. When Jisung made it to the island, Chenle let him look around, admiring the hidden details. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“So,” Jisung drug out, “What are we doing here?” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle smiled at him again, “I told you we could come over here.” Chenle moved towards the tree, walking around to the side not visible from the path. There, on the trunk, were metal handles, ones that the tree had grown around and accepted as part of itself. Jisung came around, eyes moving from the handles to Chenle and back again. “Follow me.” Chenle encouraged, setting his skateboard under one of the bushes, and started up the base. Jisung wasn’t quick to follow but Chenle understood. He’d probably never done something like this before and the first time was always the most nerve-wracking. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle made it up onto the small platform that had been built there between three of the largest branches, and waited for Jisung’s head to pop up. He helped drag the younger up onto the platform, situating himself. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Jisung was visibly trembling by the time they settled and Chenle patted his knee amicably, “You’ll get used to it. I wouldn’t take you anywhere that you would get hurt.” Jisung nodded, but didn’t say anything. “So, when do you graduate?” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _It took him a second, but he seemed to gather himself enough to respond. “June 5th.” Jisung let his breath out all at once, his shoulders relaxing slightly as he did so. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle nodded setting his chin on his knees that he had hugged to his chest. Jisung sat cross-legged, elbows on his knees and eyes to the wood beneath him. “Are you excited? I remember when I graduated my parents flew out here. It was fun.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Jisung glanced up, but his eyes barely left the wood. “Yeah, I’m just excited to be done for a bit. I’m planning on taking a gap year to let myself breathe and decide what I want to do in the future.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle nodded again, turning his head back towards the view of the water. Where they were situated there was a gap in the branches and leaves revealing a patchy view of the lake, the path they had walked and the line of cherry blossoms. When the breeze came back, so did the scent of jasmine and lemon and Chenle wondered how Jisung managed to smell like his personality. “Just make sure that you go back, if that’s what you really want. Also, don’t forget you’re young and you can change your mind, you don’t have to decide what to do with your life at eighteen or nineteen. Just make sure you’re going on a path you’re happy about.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“What about you? Is that what you decided?” Jisung was quick with the response and Chenle wondered how long he had been harboring that question. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“I already have a path,” Chenle played with his shoestring as he thought about how to explain his situation, “I’m both incredibly lucky and incredibly unlucky.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“What’s that mean?” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle wasn’t sure if he wanted to explain, but he figured that if they were going to be friends, Jisung needed to know more about him than his taste in music. “When I turn twenty-five I’m going to inherit a portion of my parent’s company. By the time I’m thirty-five I should own most of it. It’s a long story, but as the eldest and only child it’s expected of me. The deal we made was that they’d send me to study abroad if I promised to take the company. I agreed on the terms that I could do as I pleased while abroad. I’m taking online classes to get a degree in business management, but it’s practically just for show considering I’ll be shadowing my mom once I make it back.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“Where are you from originally?” Chenle glanced at Jisung who had been watching him intently. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle sat up and stretched his legs out in front of him, his sweatpants riding up his calves slightly, and leaning back on his palms, staring at the water again. “Shanghai.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“China?” Jisung’s voice was slightly squeaky in shock and Chenle bit back a grin at it. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _He glanced at him from the corner of his eye, “Do you know of another Shanghai?” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Jisung pouted at him slightly, but shook his head, “I’ve just never met someone from China. That’s pretty cool. What was it like?” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“Do you want to go someday?” Chenle turned the topic quickly. He didn’t like talking about his homelife more than he had to. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“I would love to.” It was Jisung’s turn to look away, brown eyes honeyed in the streams of light that broke through the canopy of the oak tree. When the breeze rustled the branches, the light danced on him in small shapes that made Chenle want to draw. Chenle couldn’t draw, but if he could he imagined that would be the first thing he would sketch. Jisung spoke again, pulling him out of his thoughts, “I’d never be able to afford to, though. China is pretty far and I could never afford the trip.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“What about your parents? They could help.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Jisung laughed for a second but it wasn’t his typical laugh. It wasn’t slightly wheezy and throaty and deep like normal; instead it was jagged and came from his lungs in a breath. Chenle was confused to what he had said to turn the air so sour so quickly. “I understand now,” Jisung nodded, “Your families probably loaded. Unfortunately, I don’t have the same experience. We make it, we’re okay, but a trip to China would sink my family." _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle felt his chest tighten slightly, the realization that he once again fell into his childhood ignorance of the world; he’d grown up in a wealthy family, not having had the experience with the middle or lower class until he moved here. Sometimes he still forgot that his upbringing wasn’t the norm. “I’ll take you someday.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“No,” Jisung shook his head, “I wouldn’t ask and I don’t want charity.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“No,” Chenle repeated firmly, “I want to take you. I would like to show you where I grew up and it would be fun to introduce you to my family. It wouldn't be charity, it would be me taking you somewhere I want to show you. Someday, we will go. You need to graduate first, though.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Jisung didn’t respond after that, seeming to grow deep into thought, so Chenle let it go quiet. He wasn’t sure if it was an uncomfortable silence for Jisung, but for him it was the opposite. He felt his body slowly relaxing into the comfort of quiet company. Peace that he wasn’t familiar with came over him, quietly reminding him to take time to breathe and enjoy his time. The sound of the water lapping on the shore, the occasional quacking and splashing of the ducks below, the robins that lived in the oak tree singing, and the breeze dancing in the leaves all provided a quiet white noise that soothed the ache from his shoulders. Chenle hadn’t ever felt this relaxed, the stress of his future having always carried knots on his shoulders; now, however, he couldn’t bring himself to feel anxious over it. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _The realization of the unusual calmness hit Chenle after a long period of the silence, causing him to sit upright suddenly. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Jisung started, obviously not expecting the sudden movement. “Are you okay?” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle’s heart thudded slightly, off-beat and abnormal and he felt his cheeks warming. He glanced at him phone, surprised that nearly two hours had passed since they had begun their day. “I was just wondering if you were getting hungry? Because I’m starving.” Chenle was quick to cover, but his voice caught and he knew it sounded off. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Jisung didn’t bother to question it, though, and instead asked, “What would you want?” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“I know a really good Thai restaurant.” With that, Chenle was wiggling down the tree quickly, waiting at the bottom for Jisung. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Jisung was obviously nervous, dangling his legs over the edge of the platform and gripping the first metal rod tightly. “Chenle, I don’t think I can do this.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“Yes, you can.” Chenle wasn’t terse with him, but he was firm in his words, “I’ll be here to catch you if you fall. Now come on. You can’t stay up there forever.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _It took him another moment, but Jisung eventually slithered himself onto the handles. It took him another moment and several deep breaths, before he slowly started feeling his way down. When he made it to Chenle’s head level, Chenle took a step back and watched him drop the last foot or two to the ground. When he turned around, Chenle realized just how close they were and how overwhelming the fresh scent of jasmine and lemon was. Chenle’s breath stuck in the back of his throat, his fingers trembling slightly, and suddenly he wasn’t sure he could move if he tried. Jisung was as wide eyed as Chenle felt like he was, startled by the proximity as well. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _A duck waddling onto the little island next to them broke the moment and Chenle moved back a step, “I told you you could do it.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _With that, they went to a little cafe that Jisung recommended with 60’s style stools and milkshakes with paper straws as Chenle had forgotten about the Thai restaurant being closed on Mondays. The jukebox sat as a decoration in the corner while the overhead speakers played a pop song that Chenle wasn’t familiar with, but Jisung seemed to like as he bobbed his head to it. The food was good, the milkshakes better, but the only part Chenle could focus on what Jisung’s gummy smile and the way his eyes disappeared when he talked avidly and how they became near circles when he was intrigued, his mouth always parting just slightly, as well. Chenle was the quieter of the two for once and he listened intently as Jisung told him stories of school and growing up and what it was like in his family. He told Chenle about the sports he played, about dance, about his small but noticeable addiction to video games. He chatted with the waitress, obviously comfortable here, and Chenle felt his throat tighten every time Jisung gave his throaty choked laugh. Chenle hadn’t ever felt like this before, the feeling of tenseness in his hands and the way that deep in his chest felt hollow; there were echoes of his heartbeat thudding through his ribcage in a way that he had never experienced before. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _By the time they were done, Chenle felt like his body was made of jello and the unexpected hug from Jisung hadn’t helped. When Jisung collected him in his arms unexpectedly, the scent of jasmine and lemon, mixed with something a little more masculine that he hadn’t been able to smell before, overtook his senses entirely. It left him feeling dazed. This was what it felt like to be high, he decided. The people in school had talked about it like this and he hadn’t ever believed that your body could just melt like this. Jisung gave a quick _we need to do this again, see you thursday_ and then, he was gone, leaving Chenle alone in front of the dinner, wondering how he was supposed to skate home on legs that felt like he had his tendons removed. ___ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

It had been a few weeks since Chenle and Jisung's first hang out, the two having gotten together a couple more times after, when he became aware of his unfortunate situation. Jisung had just made it home from a dinner with his family when it hit him. His mom had made a simple comment on how he seemed happier lately, how he was smiling more, how he was holding himself with a little more confidence. His dad had agreed, beaming about how his son was finally growing into his body- his mentality matching his height, he had meant. They had expressed their pride in him, their support. Jisung hadn’t known what to say, but that night as he was laying in bed, the realization knocked the breath out of him. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

He had a crush on Chenle. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jisung had never had a crush before, never even entertained the idea as he was far too uncomfortable with everyone to do something like that. He was so shy and so invisible to everyone around him that crushes were pointless. 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

However, Chenle _saw_ him. __

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle actually saw him. It was completely new for Jisung. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _When the realization hit he rolled around in his bed making a low pitched whining, eventually settling face down in his pillow. His face was hot and he felt flustered and he patted his cheeks in an attempt to cool them. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _He wasn’t sure how to handle a crush or what do to about it, but he decided in that moment he wouldn’t say anything about it; he didn’t want to possibly ruin the friendship they’d built up. He would just stay quiet about it and just continue on as normal and hope Chenle never found out. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Three months went by. Jisung graduated and Chenle was there, cheering him on. Jisung decided to head to university in the autumn for a general degree, but with mostly online classes and one midday split week class. Chenle supported his decision. Chenle had been promoted to a manager at _This and That_ within that time period, something he hadn’t been expecting, and they’d hired a few new employees to help around the shop. __

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Summer had hit like truck this year with the temperatures being at everyone’s throats. Chenle didn’t mind it; he just invited Jisung to go swimming more often at different areas he had kept secret from his other friends. Jisung teased him every time about his aesthetic and how he managed to maintain it even in swimming clothes. Chenle would tease back that the nerd look followed Jisung, too, but neither ever changed their choices. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle still felt the heavy ache in his chest every time he and Jisung were together. He still felt the pull to talk to him, to teach him things, to chastise him when he was wrong. He had more emotions wrapped up in him currently than he ever thought he would. Chenle rarely ever had crushes, and when he had, they were brief and over with before the really started. He entertained a few girls on a couple dates, but rarely did anything move past that. With Jisung it was different though. Everything just seemed to click. Chenle thought it was a ridiculous cliche from stories he read, but the longer he was around Jisung, the more he realized that it really was a _real_ thing. ___ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _It wasn’t the same feeling, though. The books always described it in ways that weren’t what he felt. Around Jisung he felt calm and confident; he felt like he could take on the world and then some. He felt comfortable, like he could be himself for the first time in a long time. Chenle felt like he could let down his defenses and just exist without judgement. He felt like Jisung was a safe place to just be himself and Jisung had yet to break that. The problem now, however, was that he had no idea how to broach this subject with Jisung. He didn’t want to ruin their friendship, didn’t want to ruin the peace they’d built up together, untouched by the outside world. They had been spending more and more time together now that Jisung was out of school; Chenle had even had him over for dinner and movie marathons. Chenle was, for lack of better term, enamoured by Jisung; which was terrifying in itself. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Something soft hit Chenle in the head, bouncing off of it and making him stumble slightly. “Earth to Chenle,” Jisung sang, picking up his stuffed toy. Chenle stood in Jisung’s room currently; the baby blue walls and warm wood floors trimmed in white fit his personality. There were photos he had taken hung up on the walls, some framed and some on canvas and some just taped up; a couple shelves of knick-knacks lined the walls; the bedspread was a soft blue and the sheets that peaked out were white with tiny colorful flowers. The closet was slightly open, showing his muted and pastel wardrobe, but the bookshelf that was stuffed and double stacked with books was what caught Chenle’s eye in that corner of the room. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _He looked back to Jisung who was clutching the stuffed Kirby to his chest, his eyes slightly wide; Chenle took notice of the slight pink taking over his ears and cheeks. “Well, say something.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle tried not to pay attention to him as he looked back at the photos, ignoring the way his heart thudded in his chest at the flush. He wanted to tease Jisung, but instead came out was a breathless, “Did you take these photos?” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“Yeah,” Jisung paused and the entire house was silent. Chenle had almost forgotten they were alone. The air was slowly becoming suffocating and he felt increasingly out of place with his entirely black outfit of acid wash black jeans and shredded band tee overtop a black mock neck long sleeved shirt, the chains hanging against the pink bleach spots the only bright thing on his body. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“I really like your photography.” Chenle’s voice cracked for some reason and he coughed. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Jisung laughed brightly, his lips pulling back and exposing most of his teeth and pink gums and Chenle swallowed his tongue to keep his mouth shut. “It sounds like it!” Jisung moved around the room and explained each photo and it’s meaning and where it was taken and when and Chenle followed along. He paid attention to everything Jisung explained, kept track of every story and detail and wrote them in his mind mentally. These were the moments important enough to Jisung to photograph them and decorate his space with them, that meant that they needed to be as important to Chenle. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _By the time Jisung finished, Chenle felt like he had just read his diary. Jisung occasionally had gotten flustered and expressed his insecurity of oversharing, however Chenle encouraged him to continue. Chenle was certain if Jisung had quit partially through, he would have gone home disappointed. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“What now?” Chenle asked after a moment of silence, curious as to what Jisung had planned. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Jisung picked at the band of his basketball shorts, looking out of character in the black shorts and a comfortable plain white tee shirt. His hair was unusually ruffled and slightly fluffy like he hadn’t styled it after washing it. He looked comfortable and smaller than normal, a feat considering he was taller than Chenle by a whole head or two. “Wanna watch a movie?” The sentence was incredibly informal, their relationship having grown comfortable to the point of it. The first time it had happened, Chenle had teased him about it and made him a pretty pink stuttering mess. Now it was more habit, the formalities slipping in private, but they were far more careful out in public together. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle nodded, “Yeah, let’s pick.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _So that’s how they ended up squished onto Jisung’s double bed, Jisung’s laptop perched on Chenle’s knees as he slouched against the pillows, Jisung curled up against the headboard with another large bear stuffie, hovering just over Chenle’s head. Jisung’s chest was at Chenle’s head level and as he clicked through the streaming sites, he wasn’t sure if it was his or Jisung’s heartbeat he could hear thudding heavily in his ears. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _They eventually settled into a classic that Chenle recommended, one that he had seen plenty of times to know by heart. He knew his mind would be preoccupied throughout and didn’t want to watch anything that he wasn’t already familiar with. Jisung’s breath softly rusted Chenle’s hair and Chenle played with his chain to distract his fingers. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _They shuffled occasionally throughout the movie, with multiple sessions of _“can you see?” “I can see, can you see?” “I can see but I don’t know if you can see”_ and _“Are you comfortable?” “Comfortable? I’m comfortable, are you comfortable?” “I’m comfortable, is this fine?” “It’s fine, are you fine?” “I’m fine”_ back and forth. By the time it ended, they were both laying on their sides facing the other, the laptop in the middle of them closer to their stomachs. Jisung was wrapped around his stuffie, head propped up by it, whereas Chenle rest his head on his hand to watch. _____ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“That was good, I’m glad we watched it.” Jisung said once the credits started rolling. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“Did you actually like it or are you just saying that?” Chenle sat up and scooted against the headboard, whereas Jisung stayed squished against his plushie. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _The ending theme filled the silence between them as Jisung pouted slightly. “I can like things you like, too.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“I never said you couldn’t.” Chenle wasn’t sure where the small snappiness in him came from, but it probably had to do with the lingering closeness and ever present scent of familiar warm jasmine and lemon. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“You’re in a spicy mood,” Jisung said, his nose scrunching slightly. Jisung had begun to call Chenle’s random aggressive moods his _‘spicy moods’_. Chenle let him call them that, just pretending that he was always this way, rather than discovering how the frustration was with himself and how nervous he randomly grew around Jisung. ___ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“I am not,” Chenle defended. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“You are! Why are you so-” Jisung’s sentence was interrupted by Chenle’s phone, the sweet serenade of a piano cover of _You Turned My World Around_ playing through the otherwise silent house. Chenle had picked the song because it always reminded him of Jisung, though Jisung would never recognize the song. Chenle snatched his phone from the nightstand, the Chinese characters for mother were familiar. ___ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“Hold on, it’s my mom.” Chenle’s voice was even and flat and Jisung shuffled as he sat up. Chenle stood and started pacing as he answered the call. “Hello, mom.” He was speaking his native tongue now, something Jisung had never heard before. He was slightly embarrassed and nearly concerned that Jisung would find it strange. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“Chenle, my plum, how are you? How are classes?” Her voice was sweet on the other end, familiar. She was a good mother, Chenle thought, they just weren’t close. They never had been. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“I’m well, mom. Classes are good, I’m on break right now. They start again in a couple of weeks.” Chenle glanced at Jisung again. Jisung was watching him intently, his eyes wide and sparkly in the lighting and Chenle paced further. The sweet scent of jasmine was strong in Jisung’s room, Chenle had long since learned that it was Jisung’s favorite flower and flavor of tea. Jisung had once said that his mother had explained the fact that it was because Jisung was so easy to love and so beautiful all at once and Chenle hadn’t known what to say because it was _true, so he had instead snapped about how _flowers are just flowers_ and Jisung had laughed. ____ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle was pulled back into the moment by his mother asking, “When are you coming home for a visit? It’s been a while. If you have time before your classes you should come home soon.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle glanced to Jisung, then back to the floor. “I’m not sure when I can come visit. I am a manger at the store now and I can’t leave it. It’s too short of notice.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“What about your birthday? Come home then?” He knew he _should_, but he didn’t know if he _wanted_ to. _____ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“Maybe, mom, I’ll think about it. I need to go, I’m at a friends house.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“A friend? Who is she?” His mother was hopeful and hearing it sent an ice cube sliding down Chenle’s spine. She was always concerned that Chenle would never marry and never produce another heir. Yet another reason that he needed to find a way to douse the ever growing feelings that bubbled in his chest whenever he was around Jisung. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“His name is Jisung.” At the mention of his name, Jisung piqued up slightly, leaning forward slightly. Chenle reached across the bed and poked two fingers to his forehead, gently shoving him backwards onto the pillows. Jisung huffed and Chenle smiled widely. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _He could almost feel her deflation, but she remained perky, “Well, I’m glad you’ve made a friend. Is he someone you want to bring home eventually?” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle’s cheeks pinkened at the unintentional implications that that phrase had and he cleared his throat, moving away from the bed again. “Maybe, I don’t know. I’ll let you know later, okay?” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“I want to see my son, Chenle. Come home soon.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“I will, mom. I love you." _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“I love you, too, my plum.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _With that Chenle clicked his phone off and tossed it back onto the nightstand, sinking down onto the foot of the bed. “Sorry if that was annoying. I know it's awkward listening to other people talk in languages you don't understand.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Jisung shook his head quickly, sitting up cross-legged now. “No! That was so interesting! I loved listening to it, actually. You should speak it more often.” Jisung’s mind seemed to catch up with his mouth in that moment because his eyes grew wide for a half second before he continued quickly, “What did she need? Is everything okay?” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle decided not to focus on the first half and instead moved along, “Everything’s fine. She just wanted to check on me and ask me to come home. She wants me to come home for my birthday and if you want to visit as well. I told her I’d have to figure everything out because of school and work.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Jisung seemed to take that in well, nodding slowly. There was a long silence where Chenle played with the chain on his pants before Jisung spoke again, “I wouldn’t mind coming with.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle met his eyes again and he seemed genuine. “I guess we will figure it out then. For now, what do you want to do next?" _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _“Another movie?” Jisung was already clutching his plushie. _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Chenle nodded, “Another movie.” _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _When Chenle went home that night, he went home with the smell of jasmine stuck to his clothes and a smile stuck to his face. _ _ _

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Jisung wasn’t the jealous type. At least, he didn’t believe he was. He never thought he was before, but now he was seated at the register of _This and That_, watching Chenle laughing brightly with one of the new employees. Jisung had met the kid a couple of times, but he was both of their seniors by a year or so. Originally, Jisung hadn’t thought anything of him; he was pretty standard, with long mousy brown hair and incredibly dark and round eyes, his skin a softer shade of milky caramel. He wore lots of olive and earth tones and sweaters and pressed button downs. However as time went on and he was around more, Jisung also learned that he was quick witted and sarcastic as well, his humor meshing well with Chenle’s. They would banter a lot, being giggling messes in the record shop aisles when the clients were away- sometimes while they were still there. Chenle’s high pitched, squeaky laugh would always catch Jisung off guard and Jisung often found himself wondering when had he made Chenle laugh like that? How had this guy walked into Chenle’s life and caused him to naturally open up and relax in a way that Jisung had yet to accomplish in over seven months of friendship? How had he managed it within such a short period of time? __

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_ _Jisung wasn’t the jealous type, but he felt himself chewing his fruit gummies a little more harshly than needed, watching the two of them. Chenle and he started walking over, Jisung was able to hear their conversation as they got closer, however he was unable to understand it still. Renjun, the new employee, was also from China and Chenle had finally had someone to speak his native tongue with comfortably. Jisung always felt a sharp stinging sensation whenever he thought about the fact that that was one way he would never be able to connect with Chenle; he wouldn’t be able to provide a sounding board in the language Chenle was probably most comfortable in. It hadn’t been an insecurity before Renjun, however now, after seeing how close the two had become and how comfortable Chenle was with him, Jisung had the hovering insecurity of not being _ enough_. ___ _

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_ _ _“Jisung!” Chenle said brightly when they made it to the counter. Jisung shoved another gummy into his mouth. “Are you ready to go?” Jisung nodded wordlessly. Chenle said something in Chinese to Renjun, who laughed and returned it. “See you later, Jisung! It was nice seeing you again.” Renjun was nice. That was the biggest problem. He couldn’t hate him because he was so nice. It wasn’t Renjun’s fault he felt like this and guilt pooled heavily in his stomach, making his feet heavy. _ _ _

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_ _ _“See you later, Renjun.” Jisung used his formalities still. _ _ _

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_ _ _Chenle and he walked around the park again, seeing the leaves become yellowed in preparation for autumn. They weren’t solid yellow yet, all of the leaves holding hearts of green still, however the air was damp smelling from the previous nights rain and the grass was slick with the moisture from it. The air felt cooler and it was evident in the way that Jisung clung to his heavy pink knitted sweater, the collar of his white cotton button down popping out of the top of the slightly low neckline. Chenle had also started to dress warmer, his typical ripped band tee shirt was overtop of a black turtleneck today and a pair of comfortable looking red and black checkered tripp pants accentuated his legs and gave him a taller, longer look. His entire outfit was topped off with a worn and soft black leather jacket and heavy looking combat boots. There was something different than normal, however, as Chenle had a couple bobby pins on the left side of his head, the pins making a small _ //X/_ pattern. Jisung liked it, but he wasn’t in the mood to compliment Chenle. ___ _ _

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_ _ _“So I was wondering if this weekend you wanted to go out and visit the new _Go Cart_ place that they’re putting in? It’s close by the shop, we could walk there after my shift next Thursday?” Chenle broke the silence as they made it to the pond, the ducks swimming towards the groves quickly. ___ _ _

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_ _ _The smell of the murky water was familiar to them now, the area a frequent visit. “I’d love to!” Jisung perked instantly, the idea of one of their outings next week brightening him. _ _ _

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_ _ _“Great! I was thinking of inviting Renjun along, would that be okay?” _ _ _

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_ _ _Jisung deflated instantly, his shoulders slumping inwards. He felt his lip wobble slightly, “Why don’t you just take Renjun instead, since it’s clear you prefer his company.” _ _ _

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_ _ _Chenle stuttered for a second and Jisung could feel his eyes on him again, but he refused to make eye contact, instead choosing to stare out to their island. Jisung wondered how long it would remain theirs before Chenle took Renjun out and tainted all of their spaces. Jisung thought back to the first time they had been out there, to how Chenle had made him feel safe and secure enough to do something as bold as climb a giant tree and sit on a rickety wooden platform. He thought about how Chenle _always_ had made him feel secure. Why was he no longer _enough_? Chenle jumped in front of him, blocking his pathway and stopping the two. “Jisung, I don’t prefer his company. I’ve just made another friend. Don’t you like him?” _____ _ _

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_ _ _Jisung was avoiding his eyes still, but Chenle was focused on him. “You just seem to want to _always_ be around him now. I don’t get to see you often and whenever I do, you always include him. You make a new friend and suddenly it’s never just us anymore. Am I that boring?” ___ _ _

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_ _ _Chenle spluttered and Jisung finally made eye contact. He focused on the way that Chenle had worn eyeliner today, the smokiness accentuating the tilt of his eyes, how his cheekbones were so pronounced at such a young age, the way the half of the middle part that wasn’t bobby pinned fluttered in the breeze that carried the scent of rain and pond. He tried to focus on the way that Chenle was clearly trying to explain himself in what was his third language, trying to find the right expressions to use and explanations for everything. Jisung understood that it would take him longer to translate his thoughts, but the pain in his chest grew with every passing second that Chenle said nothing. _ _ _

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_ _ _Finally, he spoke, clearly attempting to keep his voice steady, “Jisung, you’re not boring. I just thought you’d like to make another friend is all.” _ _ _

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_ _ _Jisung looked away again, sighing heavily, “I do want to make other friends. I just don’t want to feel like I’m boring. You always seem happier around him.” _ _ _

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_ _ _Chenle seemed at a loss for words again, Jisung glanced at him and away, losing the ability to focus on his makeup. “Jisung, that’s ridiculous. You mean a lot to me. It’s fun having Renjun around because we have a lot of similarities, but he’s not replacing you. No one could. No one _ever_ could.” His voice was softer at the end, almost a whisper. It was quiet enough that Jisung had to strain to hear it, but he heard it and it made his heart flutter. ___ _ _

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_ _ _Jisung felt his cheeks heat and stomach tighten. He knew he shouldn’t read too far into it, but he couldn’t help it. “Well, now I feel silly.” _ _ _

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_ _ _Chenle’s shoulder dropped instantly, his demeanor relaxing. He gave a half smile, “Since you’re young, I’ll forgive you.” _ _ _

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_ _ _“You can invite Renjun next week. I won’t mind. I’ll try to be his friend, too.” Jisung gave him a shy smile; it didn’t reach his eyes and his gums weren’t expose, but it wasn’t a pout or a frown and it seemed to make Chenle content. _ _ _

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_ _ _“It’ll be fun, I promise.” _ _ _

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_ _ _Chenle was at home that same night kicking himself. He _could’ve_ confessed. He _should’ve_ confessed. It was the _perfect_ moment. He could have said _Jisung, I can’t replace you because I think I’m in love with you_. He could have had the textbook falling in love scenario where they kissed in front of a pond with swans in the background and the world was magical. _________ _ _

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_ _ _Chenle wasn’t delusional, however. _ _ _

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_ _ _There was too much at risk, too much stopping them. Even if he confessed he doubted it would go anywhere because the chances of Jisung returning his feelings were slim. On top of that, there was no way he would be able to hold a relationship with Jisung in the future considering he needed to have kids to eventually take over the business. Chenle couldn’t do it. There was too much against them. _ _ _

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_ _ _Instead, he was in the shower, his arm against the wall and his head resting on it. The hot water poured over him, steaming the showercase, causing it to get hard to breathe. Only once he felt the heavy moisture enter his lungs did he let himself start sobbing. He wasn’t sure exactly _why_ he was crying; maybe it was the death of the relationship that hadn’t happened, or the intense unrequited feelings, or the way that this would never lineup properly. Chenle turned the water off and instead sunk to the shower floor and let himself continue to cry, his sniffles and shudders echoing off of the foggy case. He hadn’t ever felt this alone in his apartment, hadn’t ever felt this isolated. He was begging for company. In that moment he decided he would go home for his birthday. _ Alone_. _____ _ _

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Jisung had gotten more comfortable with Renjun as time went on, the two actually forming a fairly solid connection. They both loved to learn and Renjun was constantly telling Jisung about the conspiracy theories he read and Jisung soaked up the stories like a sponge. Renjun was also an artist, Jisung learned, and an incredible one at that. The three of them spent a lot of time running amuck during the fall, visiting coffee shops and studying together. Renjun was studying to be an architect, Jisung learned, his vision for art having shaped a love of sculpting. They had spent the autumn together as a trio, taking walks in the falling leaves and drinking hot cocoa, watching spooky movies late at night at Chenle’s apartment. They had just spent their time together comfortably and cozily. 

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Chenle had decided to go home and visit his family for his birthday, the last week of November arriving quickly and him disappearing with it. Instead of hiding alone in his room as he had planned, Jisung hung around Renjun’s apartment with his other two roommates, Jeno and Jaemin. Jeno was a nice man, with black hair and a delicate mole beneath one of his finely shaped eyes that disappeared when he smiled or laughed. He was loud, but not obnoxiously so, and had become a comfortable older brother style friend to Jisung, someone he felt like he could go to and get support if needed. Jaemin, on the other hand, was a slight bit more chaotic in the sense that his brotherly energy was more teasing and poking fun at the others, but he always gave a bright smile after that made it impossible to find him annoying; he kept his hair a sandy blonde but there was always an array of colors streaking through it. 

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Currently, Jisung was lounging on their couch, Renjun seated on the floor in front of the couch playing _Minecraft_ quietly. Jisung was watching, unfocused and distracted, thinking of how long it was going to be until Chenle made it back. He was thankful that he had made other friends, ones he could be around while he was gone, but he also found himself attached to Chenle in a way the others couldn’t fill. It wasn’t even his ever growing crush that he felt; it was a genuine connection that he lacked with anyone else. Jisung had always thought the desire to be around Chenle all of the time had more to do with his crippling loneliness, however after making new friends he could assure himself it wasn’t that. Chenle had just become a piece of his life he was slowly realizing he couldn’t live without. __

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_ _“Hey, Jisung, what do you think of Chenle?” Renjun’s voice broke through Jisung’s thoughts like ice water. _ _

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_ _“What do you mean?” Jisung only stuttered slightly, curling tighter around the decorative pillow he had snatched up and cuddled with. _ _

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_ _“I mean, what do you think of him?” Renjun repeated simply. _ _

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_ _“Well,” Jisung said thoughtfully. He sat up, still holding the pillow, “I think he’s great. _I know, I know,_ that’s not what you’re looking for but it’s the truth. I wasn’t sure what to expect from him when we first met, because I thought he was scary, honestly. When I first saw him I wanted to turn around and disappear. I’m glad I didn’t though. Now I think he’s great. He’s funny, he’s smart, he’s kind. He’s so gentle with the kids at his shop and he’s always willing to help anyone he can. I just think he’s great.” ___ _

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_ _ _Renjun nodded, eyes still on the game. He was building a small but pretty cabin in the woods. “That’s interesting. You talk about him differently than how he talks about you.” _ _ _

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_ _ _“How does he talk about me?” Jisung was genuinely curious, he had always wondered what Chenle had thought about him. _ _ _

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_ _ _“Tell me what it was like meeting him from your perspective.” Renjun answered instead, adding a door to his wooden cabin. _ _ _

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_ _ _“Well,” Jisung started as he started thinking back, “I needed to find out some information for a project and the answers weren’t coming up on _Google_, so I figured someone had to know something at a record shop. When I first got in there I was so lost, I couldn’t find the cashier stands. He caught my attention by calling over to me and I thought I was going to run he scared me so bad. He had on dark eyeliner at the time, really dark, and smudgy. He was also in all black like usual and he looked kind of scary, I’m not gonna lie. He ended up being nicer than I thought though and gave me a whole bunch of information. It was really nice listening to him talk for a couple hours. I ended up coming back to listen to him talk, but I told him it was because I needed more help. I didn’t really need the help, I just liked him talking. Then it became a regular thing and now we are here.” ___ _ _

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_ _ _Renjun nodded, working on furnishing the inside of his cabin. “He told me that when he first saw you, you pissed him off.” Jisung was caught completely off guard at the casual way Renjun dropped that, “He wasn’t sure why, but later figured out it was because you’re so pretty.” Now he was shy, his cheeks flushing brightly at Renjun’s offhand comments, “He holds you really high, Jisung. He talks a lot about you and how you’re amazing at everything. He thinks you’re an incredible dancer and how you should do that more. He also loves your photography, too. He brags about you to people, it’s cute really.” Renjun was outside again, working on his farm as night was falling, “He really wants to take you to his hometown during the summer and to meet his family. I think he should've taken you with this trip, but he said he needed to reconnect with his family privately first.” Renjun cursed as a _creeper_ came up, exploding before he could run and destroying his house and garden, along with killing his character. ___ _ _

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_ _ _Just as he was respawning and Jisung was attempting to process his words, the front door swung open and Jeno and Jaemin made their way in, trailed by two unfamiliar faces. “Hey, Jisung!” Jaemin said brightly. _ _ _

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_ _ _“Jisung! Meet Mark and Donghyuck.” Mark was lanky and broad with specs sitting on his nose and a backwards baseball cap hiding blonde hair, with a simple grey tee shirt and jeans with a bomber jacket combo. Donghyuck, however, had a floral leather jacket with an intricately designed silky black shirt and comfortable looking black slacks; his face was round and his skin darker than Jisung’s, his hair caramel and curly. _ _ _

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_ _ _“Hello, it’s nice to meet you!” Mark was bright, his smile sweet. _ _ _

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_ _ _“Careful, Mark, if you fake that smile more it’ll fall off of your face.” Donghyuck’s voice was oddly nasally while having a low pitch that Jisung hadn't expected nor heard before. _ _ _

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_ _ _“Hyuck, be quiet, I’m not faking anything.” Mark didn’t seem put out by Donghyuck’s comment, or if he was he didn’t show it. He was still grinning brightly, his demeanor not having changed from his entry. Jeno, Jaemin, and Mark disappeared into the kitchen, while Donghyuck dropped to the floor next to Renjun, pulling out a second controller and joining the game. _ _ _

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_ _ _Jisung listed to the two of them bicker for a while, but slowly his heart started aching at missing Chenle. He decided it was time to head home after an hour. With some farewells and promises to meet again shortly, Jisung headed home. Once he was showered and tucked into bed for the evening, he realized he wouldn’t be able to sleep like this. _ _ _

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It wasn’t too late at night when Chenle got the text from Jisung, the time difference between China and Korea only an hour. He had settled into bed and was reading when his phone dinged in the silence. 

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[_Jisungie_, 9:03] _Hey, I miss you. How is it going? ___

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_ _ _Chenle’s heart was racing at the first half. He gave himself a second to calm down before he responded. _ _ _

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_ _ _ _I miss you, too. Everything is going good here. It’s as boring as I remember. I wish I had brought you along because I could’ve shown you everything, but it’s too late now. Summertime is better here anyways. How about you? How is everything going there? Been to the shop since I left?_ [_Sent_ 9:05] ____ _ _ _

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_ _ _Jisung read his message instantly and Chenle wondered if he had the chat open. The response that came less than a minute later was enough to answer that for Chenle. _ _ _

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_ _ _[_Jisungie_, 9:05] _I wish I could’ve come, too, but there was no way for me to not miss those classes :/ I’m sorry. Summer for sure. ____ _ _

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_ _ _[_Jisungie_, 9:06]_ Everything is going fine here. I’m hanging out with Renjun a lot. He introduced me to his roommates and their friends and it’s been fun. It’s not the same without you, though, I’ll be honest.____ _ _

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_ _ _Though Chenle had told Jisung he would take him next time, Jisung had felt the need to create his own excuse for why he couldn't go. Chenle wasn't sure if it was because he was embarrassed or if he didn't want Chenle to feel bad for retracting the invitation. Either way, Chenle was in Shanghai alone. _ _ _

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_ _ _For a second the text bubbles appeared, then disappeared, then reappeared before a text was finally sent. _ _ _

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_ _ _[_Jisungie_, 9:07] _Also, if you’re gone there’s no point in me going to the shop. You’re the only reason I ever go there.____ _ _

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_ _ _Chenle read the message and rolled onto his stomach, shouting into the pillow and kicking his legs under the blanket. He rolled onto his side and read the message a couple more times. He was sure the heavy thudding of his heart would wake the household if his parents didn’t live in a mansion. _ _ _

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_ _ _ _I’m glad you’re doing well and making friends and surviving without me lol I’ll be home in less than a week and we can have a movie marathon to celebrate :) _[_Delivered_ 9:09] _____ _ _

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_ _ _ _Oh, yeah, I guess I am the vinyl nerd right?_ [_Delivered_ 9:09] ____ _ _ _

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_ _ _ _And you’re just the regular nerd._ [_Delivered _9:09] ____ _ _ _

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_ _ _They texted until midnight, until they were both tired and content with having reconnected again. For the rest of Chenle’s time in China, they texted every night. _ _ _

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Winter passed with snowball fights and more hot cocoa and lots of nights where the power went out due to a passing storm that Jisung and Chenle spent sitting in the dark telling stories and having discussions on the world. Jisung's birthday passed and he spent it with Chenle at an _end of winter_ festival. When the world thawed and spring came, Jisung was surprised to think about the fact that they almost would have known each other for a year. Time passed quickly, he supposed. __

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_ _It was after his Thursday class that his parents sat him down, explaining they needed to have a talk before he left again. “Jisung, dear, we have some great news.” His mother started, but paused and looked to his dad. She was beaming in a way that Jisung hadn’t seen in a while and even his dad looked less than able to contain his excitement. “It’s your big news, care to share it?” _ _

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_ _His dad broke and smiled widely before he started talking, “I got a promotion at work and was offered to be the head of sales at corporate.” _ _

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_ _Jisung was shocked, but excited jumping up to congratulate and hug his dad. “Dad this is amazing, I’m so happy for you!” _ _

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_ _His mom clapped, “I knew he would take it well!” _ _

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_ _“Of course I would take it well! What could possibly be wrong about this?” Jisung was ecstatic for his dad. They needed the money and his dad deserved a higher position, there was nothing to debate in either statement. _ _

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_ _“Well, Jisungie, corporate is in Japan. Your dad is needed immediately.” His mother said carefully, “So, we will be moving to Japan by the end of June at the latest, the end of this month at the earliest.” _ _

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_ _Jisung’s jaw slackened at the realization that hadn’t dawned on him. He swallowed the rocks that had formed in his mouth, his throat constricting painfully as he did so. “I’m still so happy for you, dad.” _ _

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_ _Jisung rushed to _This and That_ for their weekly meeting, the bell dinging familiarly over his head. There was a record playing that Jisung didn’t recognize, but Chenle was bobbing his head to the music, chewing gum, and reading a comic book he had snatched from one of the walls. There were no customers in today, obviously everyone was out and enjoying the first bit of sunny weather they had had in months. Chenle looked up when he heard the door close, brightening when he saw Jisung. He dimmed slightly, however, noticing the others distress. It was ironic to Jisung that someone covered in black could look bright in the first place. ___ _

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_ _ _“Jisung? What’s up?” His voice was careful, even. He was assessing how to approach the topic. _ _ _

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_ _ _“I’m moving.” Jisung blurted it out, unable to stop himself. _ _ _

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_ _ _“Moving?” Chenle asked standing up, “That’s good. You’ve always said you need a bigger house.” _ _ _

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_ _ _“No, Chenle, I’m leaving. We’re moving to Japan.” _ _ _

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_ _ _Chenle did a double-take for a second before waving Jisung over to the registers. Jisung followed with a pathetic noise, slumping onto one of the stools. He was slouched, crumpling against the counter. “So what? Why are you so mopey? I can still visit you. I’m willing to fly to Japan once a month or so to visit.” Jisung’s eyes bulged and he couldn’t help but laugh. He bumped Chenle’s knee with his own, finally looking up to the other, “So, now that I have you back down to earth, I wouldn’t mind that, however there are other options. Do you want to stay here?” _ _ _

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_ _ _Jisung nodded without hesitation, “I just finally got stable and made friends. I don’t want to leave this and start over.” _ _ _

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_ _ _Chenle nodded, “Well, you could move in with me? I have an extra room at my apartment.” _ _ _

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_ _ _Jisung hadn’t considered that. “Is that...Is that actually plausible?” _ _ _

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_ _ _Chenle shrugged, “I don’t see why not. You can come and stay for a month and see how you like it. If by the end you don’t want to kill me, we can add you to the lease and go from there.” _ _ _

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_ _ _Jisung sat, quiet for a long time. Chenle just let him mull his thoughts, playing with the chains on his pants like he did when he got nervous or bored. “Maybe that would work…” Chenle looked surprised, like he hadn’t expected a yes. “Let’s try it. I’ll move in with you.” _ _ _

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So Jisung did. The first month was slightly uncomfortable, Chenle couldn’t lie. It took them awhile to get in a comfortable groove together. Jisung was incredibly nervous at first, he dropped a couple of plates and had locked them both out of the bathroom multiple times and had burned a styrofoam noodle cup in the microwave because he hadn’t realized he it wasn’t microwavable. Chenle didn’t mind, though, and each time he just dealt with the problem quickly and easily. He decided to take over cooking, however, and teaching Jisung how to make simple and easy recipes. 

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By the third week they had found their routine. Chenle slept in later than Jisung, so Jisung would make breakfast for Chenle. Chenle would do the dishes when he woke up and the two would fall into a quiet period where they both did homework on the living room couches. Chenle would leave for work around noon, leaving Jisung to do his online classes. Chenle would make it home in the evening and then cook dinner and Jisung would do the dishes. The evenings were spent goofing around, playing video games, watching movies, and generally having a good time. Chenle hadn’t expected them to fall into this kind of domestic comfort so quickly or easily, but he was grateful they had. 

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Jisung went to his parents while Chenle was at work almost every other day and helped them pack and prepare for the move. They had been able to find a house relatively quickly and their Visa’s being approved surprisingly fast. They’d be gone in a few weeks and it was obviously bothering Jisung, but neither broached the topic. Chenle always offered distractions instead. 

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Currently, Chenle was sat at the register of This and That, thinking about the small amount of time he had until he was off shift. There were a few customers in the store, but they were all regulars who wouldn’t need help with much and Chenle was too busy thinking about going home to bother with conversation. It was unlike him, he knew that, but he had been so distracted lately; the idea of going home to someone was incredibly exciting to him. No, he thought, the idea of going home to Jisung was what was exciting. He didn’t want to ponder the implications, but his quality of life had drastically improved since the younger had moved in. Sure, there’d been a lot of issues, but he didn’t feel so alone anymore; he didn’t feel isolated, stuck in his small bubble of quiet. Chenle liked the seclusion, liked the privacy, but being able to share the intimate quiet with someone was nice. At some point he had remembered the saying “alone together” and finally he was able to understand what it meant. 

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Chenle was interrupted in that second by the sweet voice of a regular that he never could place her name. She was lovely to talk to and beautiful to boot; in her late 40’s with greying brown hair and soft brown eyes, fine wrinkles lining her mouth and eyes in ways that showed how often she used her bright toothy grin. She dressed in a white floral button down over a peach tank top and soft pastel green capris khakis. She looked like the gardening type and Chenle was sure she was. “Chenle, dear, how are you? It feels like I never see you anymore.” 

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Chenle gave a shy smile, “I’m sorry, with the promotion I got a different schedule. I’m still here Thursdays, though, on my old shift.” 

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She nodded, her eyes crinkling, “It’s because of that boy, isn’t it?” 

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“Jisung?” Chenle asked, his eyes widening slightly as she nodded. 

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“If that’s his name. The cute and tall one, that never seems to speak above a whisper?” She was leaning on the counter now, casual and comfortable. 

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“He speaks above a whisper. He’s just shy.” Chenle felt oddly proud being able to say that, almost bragging about his ability to get him comfortable enough to genuinely express himself. 

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“Oh, so he’s just like that around people he likes?” She said, her face still kind. 

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“Yeah,” Chenle said confidently and at her slight smirk, he blushed heavily and stuttered over his words, “No, wait, I don’t mean it like that. He’s just comfortable with me because we live together- wait-” He stopped himself quickly before he made a bigger mess. 

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Her laugh was genuine and sweet, no judgement in her voice. “You’re so cute, Chenle. Young love is so cute. I remember when my husband was my boyfriend. We were the same way, all awkward and shy. It took us years before we realized we were in love, but it was the nicest time.” 

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Chenle’s face was hot, “Well, he’s not my boyfriend.” 

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The woman nodded, “I didn’t say he was.” 

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“Yes you did,” Chenle narrowed his eyes, but she just continued smiling. 

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“I spoke about my husband. You implied yourself that he’s your boyfriend." 

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Chenle felt his chest tighten at her words and as he went to respond, another regular came in, waving to Chenle and making his way over. The man was older, maybe around seventy, and someone who loved Tony Bennet as Chenle did. 

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“Chenle, my boy!” He greeted and the woman took her leave. 

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“Good luck, Chenle. For what it’s worth, I think Jisung is a nice boy.” Then, she was off, leaving Chenle’s mind spinning with the weight of her words. 

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It wasn’t until that night when Jisung and he were hanging out in the living room that the dam burst. “Jisung, are you my boyfriend?” It had been quiet, the two of them having a relaxing Wednesday evening. Jisung had finished cleaning up dinner and Chenle had been attempting to read a book on the sofa while Jisung played an apocalypse RPG on the TV. Jisung had jumped at his words, his character falling off a cliff, causing a string of curses from his lips as the respawn-screen played. 

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“Chenle, I hadn’t quicksaved in ages! I’m never going to make it back there now!” Jisung whined setting the controller down in a huff. 

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“Don’t curse at me,” Chenle started setting his book down on the couch arm, “Also, don’t blame me for it!” 

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Jisung turned around from his spot on the rug, untucking his legs from under the coffee table to sit on his heels instead, glaring up at Chenle, “You startled me! Of course it’s your fault!” 

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“It is not, you should learn to control yourself and take responsibility for your actions.” Chenle crossed his arms and his legs, looking away from the kneeling younger. 

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“I do take responsibility when it’s my fault! You surprised me with crazy accusations.” Jisung was indignant, his cheeks flushing red and Chenle’s heart pounded in his chest. 

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“Is being my boyfriend that crazy of an idea?” 

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“_Yes,” Jisung said quickly then seemed to backtrack, “_No,” Then he paused with a long groan, “I don’t know.” __

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_ _Chenle chewed on his bottom lip and stood up, heading into the kitchen. Jisung followed quietly. Chenle quickly grabbed a glass of water and downed it, setting the glass on the counter and leaning on it, facing away from Jisung. It took Jisung a moment before he broke the silence, his voice smaller than Chenle had become used to, “What brought that up?” _ _

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_ _Chenle shrugged, still not turning. He was sure he looked like a mopey child, dressed in his black pajama pants with white cat faces decorating it, and thin black jumper. His hair was a wreck and he wondered what possessed him to bring this up on a night where he looked like this. “Someone said something and I didn’t know what to think.” _ _

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_ _“What’d they say?” Jisung was gentle in his words, so Chenle turned around. Yet again, his heart thudded slightly in his chest. Jisung looked cute; there was no other way to describe it other than cute. He too was wearing pajamas, however he looked like something out of a book; his pajamas were white with large sunflowers, a matching pants and button down set. They were comfy and flowy and fit his personality just right. _ _

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_ _Chenle sighed, “Someone at the shop said something about you and then it got me thinking, that’s all. Just forget I said anything. Now I’ve made it awkward.” Chenle’s throat was tightening. This was why he hadn’t wanted to say anything, the fear of the rejection that would ruin their relationship. The rejection that would make Jisung pack up and move countries and leave Chenle with no one again. He didn’t want that. He’d been alone, isolated, for so long; Jisung had been a reprieve he hadn’t known he’d wanted; a best friend. _ _

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_ _“What did they say, though?” Jisung asked, then moved into the kitchen further, coming to stand across from Chenle, leaning against the stove now. _ _

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_ _Chenle could faintly smell the jasmine wafting off of him, a scent that had become so familiar in his apartment unexpectedly. Chenle hadn’t ever liked jasmine before, but he figured a lot of things changed when he met Jisung. “She just said that you were cute and that it was nice to see young love or something like that.” He felt himself pouting as he crossed his arms. He was sure if he didn’t look like a petulant child before, he certainly did now. _ _

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_ _“Young love?” Jisung questioned, his face screwing up slightly, “Do you love me?” _ _

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_ _Chenle felt himself shifting uncomfortably, “I do,” He admitted slowly, “But in a best friend way.” _ _

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_ _Jisung seemed to deflate slightly, “Oh,” _ _

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_ _“Why ‘oh’?” Chenle pressed quickly, “What’s that mean?” _ _

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_ _“What do you think it means?” Jisung was quick, copying Chenle’s closed off posture. _ _

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_ _“I don’t know that’s why I’m asking,” Chenle was just as quick, straightening slightly. Jisung, even hunched over, was still taller than Chenle and it made him nervous. _ _

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_ _“It means, that wasn’t the answer I was hoping for,” Jisung kicked his heel backwards, knocking it into the stove to listen to the echoing bangs. “I don’t know, I guess I meant what I said.” _ _

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_ _“That being my boyfriend would be crazy?” Chenle snapped back at him; he was tired and he wanted to go to bed. This had been decidedly too much for this evening and he shouldn’t have broached the topic. _ _

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_ _“No, that it wouldn’t be crazy.” Jisung corrected quietly. Chenle opened his mouth a couple of times before snapping it shut and remaining quiet. He wasn’t sure what to say. Jisung sighed heavily once again and looked up from the floor, “I can pack up and move out if you want. I understand.” _ _

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_ _“No!” Chenle was quick, too quick, his cheeks flushed as he looked away. His panic was embarrassing. “No, don’t-don’t leave. That’s the exact thing I would not like." There was a long silence again, before Jisung broke it, “Chenle, I like you. In more than a ‘best friend’ kind of way. I mean, you are my best friend, that hasn’t changed. I don’t think you ever won’t be my best friend. I just think, maybe there’s something else there too." _ _

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_ _Chenle was watching him fidget, his throat dry. “Well,” he croaked, “Maybe I like you in a different way, too.” _ _

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_ _Jisung met his eyes again, “Wait, really?” _ _

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_ _“Yeah,” He choked out, “Yeah, I do.” _ _

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_ _“Oh,” Was all Jisung responded. _ _

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_ _“‘Oh’? What do you mean ‘oh’? I just confessed to you, say something else.” Chenle was mildly offended. _ _

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_ _Jisung jerked his chin at him, “I confessed too!” _ _

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_ _“I confessed back!” Chenle’s eyes were wide, “What more do you want me to do?” _ _

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_ _“What more do you want me to do?” Jisung repeated him, “I don’t know what to say or do now.” _ _

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_ _“I don’t know either,” Chenle’s cheeks were hot again, his toes nudging the ground. There was a pause before Chenle spoke again, “I’m not gonna kiss you.” _ _

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_ _Jisung spluttered his hands fluttering as his mouth failed to form words and Chenle broke into a fit of giggles, “I wasn’t going to ask you to!” Jisung was finally able to babble out, his cheeks bright pink. _ _

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_ _“How about we go play a game or something?” Chenle asked and Jisung looked as if he were going to collapse. _ _

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_ _“I like that idea.” _ _

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_ _Within minutes they were seated again, both on the floor with their legs stretched under the coffee table that their arms rested on, with backs leaning against the couch. They played Minecraft on creative, just building houses together as the night turned into early morning. It was quiet, with long pauses in between bants, but Chenle was comfortable. _ _

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_ _Chenle was the first to speak in any actual conversational format, “I don’t know when I can tell my parents. My parents aren’t...homophobic,” Chenle paused over the word before continuing, “but they want an heir. So, I don’t know how this will go over.” _ _

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_ _Jisung shrugged awkwardly, “It’s a little too soon to be thinking about kids anyways.” _ _

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_ _Chenle copied his movement and shrugged in response, “That’s all parents think about, though.” _ _

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_ _“True,” Jisung laughed and Chenle felt himself smile, “We don’t have to tell them right away. We can wait.” _ _

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_ _“I don’t know how we can go on dates.” Chenle admitted, his fingers getting slippery around the controller again. _ _

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_ _“We’ve been going on dates just fine,” Jisung said smoothly as he placed the finishing blocks on their cottage by the ocean, “No one will know there’s anything different besides us.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle pondered that before nodding slowly, “I guess you’re right.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“We’ve got a long time to figure it out, Chenle,” Jisung said, turning to look at him. Chenle was once again out of breath staring at him. He was so soft looking, so warm and inviting. “I don’t mind taking my time to figure everything out.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle nodded, swallowing heavily, “Yeah,” he admitted, “I don’t mind either.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Jisung’s smile was big, his eyes narrowing to slits and his gums showing, “I just like having you as my boyfriend finally.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle felt his heart stutter, “That’s going to take some time to get used to.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Jisung continued to beam, “I hope you never grow tired of it.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle doubted he would, but he wouldn’t say that. Instead, he opted for, “Too late, I’m already tired of you.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Jisung laughed fully at it, “You’re my longest relationship! That was amazing!” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle scowled, “It’s been four hours.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“Still my longest!” Jisung went back to the game. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“You’re sad.” Chenle hadn’t taken his eyes off of him yet. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“Not anymore, I’m not.” Jisung didn’t look away from the screen and Chenle was glad he didn’t. He’d seen him flustered and shy enough tonight. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“That’s good,” Chenle said, picking at his pajama pants, his character hanging out on the top of their cottage, his task forgotten, “I don’t want you to be sad again.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“Well,” Jisung said, pausing the game, looking to Chenle and catching his eye, “You have a lifetime to work on keeping me happy.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“What happened to taking it slow?” Chenle cocked an eyebrow and Jisung just beamed. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“You’ll always be my best friend, regardless of where this goes. In the end, it’s still going to be you and I against the world. It’s been over a year now and I don’t think I can go back to not having you around. So, it’s a lifetime thing now.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _Chenle felt himself smile, “I think I like the sound of this being a lifetime thing.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“Yeah, me too,” Jisung turned back to the game, unpausing it, “Now finish putting up the roof so we can go to bed.” _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“In the game or real life?” Chenle asked, picking his controller back up. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _“Both,” Jisung said simply. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _When they finally made it to bed, the sky was beginning to lighten with the shades of indigo and violet of early dawn. Chenle fell into bed, exhausted, curling up cozily in his comforter, the grin on his face not leaving. It’s a lifetime thing now. _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _Yeah_, Chenle thought, he really liked the sound of that. With that thought, he fell asleep.__ _ _

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_ __ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed, because i loved writing this!!! This is mostly unedited, I’ll go through and edit at a later time, I’ve been working on this for too long and just wanted it to get published lol  
Also, should I do a part two where I explore them learning and navigating their relationship or should I leave this as a cute one and done kind of thing? Please let me know, I am an indecisive mess.  
Update: I’m going to do a small drabble collection that I will title “A Little Bit of This and That” that I can use to vent my squishy feelings based off of this au! It won’t be a sequel but it’ll be just some more soft content that I want to get out :) <3  
[twitter](https://twitter.com/MidnightSuhn)
> 
> [CC](https://curiouscat.me/MidnightPasses?t=156572385)


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